"But why?" you ask. "And HOW? She's only eighteen months old for god's sake!"
Good questions. I'm a little dumbfounded myself, but it is what it is. I can't deny the proof before me--and you won't be able to either once I've gotten around to presenting it. The only explanation that I can come up with is that kids really do grow up faster these days than ever before. MUCH faster. I guess I should have suspected something was going on when ALL of her shirts started gradually creeping up to show her "midriff" (I use the quotes because it's more like a midrough right now--ZING!), but I naively blamed that on her stomach being too big to fit into clothes that weren't a full size bigger than what she should be wearing. Foolish, foolish me.
But today she took things to a new level, all by herself. Right before my very eyes, she did this to her head.
Worse still, I'm pretty sure these are gang colors. I'm not sure WHICH gang--possibly one made up of train conductors or hobos--but one of them.But, as my title suggests, thugging ain't easy. Or should that be chugging? Bugging? No, "buggin" is something else. And what's a "krunk"? Wasn't he a superhero on "Dexter's Laboratory"? Slang I'm not "down" with is stupid.
Anyway, she's paying the price for her crazy ways. Look at this!
Clearly she's doing whatever it is kids do with goofballs. Or however they get high listening to Devo's "Whip It." And she's doing it in our home! Insulting.
I mean, look at this last one!
She's lost control of her lips and face! She's drooling all over herself! And, trust me, she hasn't been to a dentist yet, so she can't claim that she's numb from Novocaine or something. There is something else going on. Something sinister and youth related!
But, seriously, she's teething again--or still--AND she has a head cold so she's mouth breathing and drooling like she hasn't done for six months or so. These pictures were about as close as I've been able to get her to smiling for most of the morning.
At this point I should make some sort of witty ACCURATE use of current slang terms to show that everything above was just me being silly, but I am honestly that out of touch with slang from the past five years that I'm pretty sure I'd misuse it. So I'll just end by using one bit of slang that will NEVER go out of style: Word.
Anyway, she's paying the price for her crazy ways. Look at this!
Clearly she's doing whatever it is kids do with goofballs. Or however they get high listening to Devo's "Whip It." And she's doing it in our home! Insulting.
I mean, look at this last one!
She's lost control of her lips and face! She's drooling all over herself! And, trust me, she hasn't been to a dentist yet, so she can't claim that she's numb from Novocaine or something. There is something else going on. Something sinister and youth related!
But, seriously, she's teething again--or still--AND she has a head cold so she's mouth breathing and drooling like she hasn't done for six months or so. These pictures were about as close as I've been able to get her to smiling for most of the morning.
At this point I should make some sort of witty ACCURATE use of current slang terms to show that everything above was just me being silly, but I am honestly that out of touch with slang from the past five years that I'm pretty sure I'd misuse it. So I'll just end by using one bit of slang that will NEVER go out of style: Word.
groovy!
ReplyDelete-Libby