My Baby Is Probably More Advanced Than Your Baby Again

So, when I logged on here, I was surprised to see that I haven't posted since last Monday. Because I swear I've had two mental posts since then, and I kind of remember typing them up and stuff. Obviously I didn't, because they do not exist on blogger, but I remember two distinct times over the last week and a half where I conceived a blog topic, fleshed it out mentally, and then could have sworn that I typed them up.

And not only did I not do that, but I don't even remember what it was I was going to talk about.

Huh. I'm going to blame the solar flares.

Anyway, to the topic at hand.

Or, wait, no. I've got another topic first.

Gabe is becoming a kind of awful napper. Despite the fact that I have gone from idle threats and casual lose-my-mindedness to active bribery with Star Wars figures (which he absolutely loves, and one would think do ANYTHING for--as long as that anything isn't taking a nap), he's still only taking a nap a couple times a week. Yesterday before nap time I even upped the ante. He took a nap Monday and Tuesday, and I told him if he could nap the entire rest of the work week I'd give him one of the big Star Wars ships that I have in my little second-childhood stash.

I mean, come on! I would have killed for these toys as a kid! I hardly got any of the big, cool Star Wars ships (which was why, when I was too old to play with the toys, but had enough of my own money, I went a little ape-shit crazy, probably), and if I could have gotten one for something as simple as a nap? Forget it. I would have slept all day. Or at least stayed in my bedroom flipping off the heat register or something all day.

He was stoked about the plan and swore he'd take a nap the next three days.

And then he didn't. So I told him today we'd start over from scratch, but he'd still get a figure if he napped today. And then he didn't again. After coming down for his normal two or three potty trips, and once to tell me that he put Greedo inside the AT-ST (one of the "big ships" that he can get) in our closet where I have them "hidden" (I don't know why he felt he needed to tell me this, except that it got him downstairs again with some sort of excuse), he came down after less than an hour. He swore up and down that he slept "because he dreamed." I'm not quite sure what he means by this, because he says it pretty regularly and always uses it as proof that he's slept whenever he really hasn't.

Except, then he had this big story about what he dreamed that he told me. Then I tried to have him retell me for the camera.

It's more than a minute and a half long, so I honestly didn't think it would load and I wouldn't be able to post it, which is why I thought I was starting with a different topic. Sure, I could have edited what I wrote before so it seemed like this was my plan all along, but we all know that's not how I roll. Editing is for chumps.

Dig the artsy angle I'm shooting this from. And by "artsy," I mean, "lying on the couch because I wanted to take a nap but he came down and I refused to get off the couch, even sending him into the office to get the camera so I could record his 'dream.'"

Now, on to my titular topic.

A few days ago, Norah was sitting at the dining room table, working on some coloring, and she started singing her ABCs. By herself. Unprompted. And she made it all the way through. At 2 3/4 years old. The ABCs. Without help. Start to finish. More or less with music from the song.

Sit down, normal folks! My kid is schooling yours! We win!

I tried a couple times to get her to do it for the camera, but she wasn't interested. Then, yesterday, they were playing with this singing Leap frog that we have that sings the alphabet. And both of them agreed to do the alphabet song for the camera. Now, with the song being sung in the background and Gabe singing along too (I call it singing, but I fear he might be a touch tone deaf--it's still too early to tell, obviously, but his musical abilities are developing much slower than Norah's are).

Of course, the part I'm ignoring is that our oldest still kind of doesn't know his ABCs. This, in fact, is why I decided to still post these videos. At some point, Gabe gets stuck, but Norah helps him out. At least that's in one of these videos. I can't review them here until after I publish the post, so I'll just let you watch them both and figure out what's going on.

Anyway, eat it rest of the world! Our baby is back on track to write her first novel by the time she's nine! I mean, it will probably just be a romance novel or one of those throw-away series books for Star Trek or something, but it will still be a pretty impressive accomplishment for a nine year old. By twelve I expect she'll be writing Dostoyevskyian or Faulknerian fiction steeped with deep philosophical questions of our day. By fifteen she'll be president, and by twenty-one she'll be Jesus 2. Awesome!

Not that I am trying to belittle Gabe's accomplishments in the least. Physically, he's WAY ahead of Norah and she's never even been close to catching up with the milestones he set when he was her age. And, being Jesus 2 (or Buddha 2 or Whoever 2--I'm not meaning to single out any specific religion--and I certainly don't mean to suggest that she'll just be the sequel, either, but that she'll be so awesome that people will still be killing each other and hating each other in her name thousands of years later), Norah is going to need some muscle around to keep her safe from all the ne'er-do-wells out there. And he'll have her back. (Also, it's worth noting that just today he endeavored to count past 100, so maybe all that Mozart we played in his bedroom for all these years actually does help with math skills).

The First Mud of the Year and Potty-tainment

Let me start with the last one, cause it is amusing to me. And short.

Norah has a bit of a weird thing going right now where she likes to come into the bathroom while someone is pooping and offer to sing a song or do a dance for them. Odd, yes, but it does help pass the time on the toilet, I suppose. This morning, she offered to do it for Gabe and I sort of managed to get some video.

Usually there's a dance, too, but I guess she wasn't feeling up to it today. It is kind of weird that she is already singing better than Gabe is at this point. Really, Gabe hasn't shown the least bit of interest or aptitude for singing until the past couple months (and he still hasn't really figured out that he can sing more than one note). Norah, though, is already starting to figure out some pitch.

Last Friday, we had some 70 degree temperatures. Since the kids have been chomping at the bit to get outside as much as possible the last few weeks, I got them outside. They went off about their business and I quickly found something to keep me occupied in our storage shed (sorting through more Star Wars toys to parcel out as bribery for naps and getting a few unopened Episode 1 things that I forgot I had that we're going to give Gabe for his birthday), and kind of let them go about their business.

I forgot, however, that it had rained not too long ago, so the ground was still a bit soggy. This wouldn't have been a big deal, as it wasn't THAT muddy out.

Gabe quickly remedied that, though, but finding a puddle of water somewhere in the yard and using a bucket to haul the water from there to the place where they really wanted to wallow in the mud for awhile.

So this happened.

Keep in mind this is only March. I shouldn't be having to deal with these kinds of messes for at least another month. Damn you, climate change, for making it possible for my kids to play in water and mud during the time when they should still be getting frostbite!

This kid is weird. In the house, she freaks out when she spills two drops of water on her shirt, demanding that a fresh shirt be put on and screaming and crying if we refuse to do it. Then, as soon as she goes outside, this kind of thing is acceptable.

I said, "Do your Rum Tum Tugger!" and this is what I got. Not bad, I guess, but we have to work on her zazz a little.

Clearly, since there's no spot of mud on her nose, this picture was taken before the first two on here. Take that, continuity!

In one of the videos, you'll get to see what's going on here a bit better. I had the camera on photos when she started doing this, so I missed a little of it before I got it switched over to video.

And then I asked them to "be funny and cute" so that I could get a new picture for my wallpaper on my computer (I haven't had a lot of luck getting amusing pictures of both kids together since that one last fall where they were doing their Power Rangers poses and Gabe was wearing his footie PJs that we had to cut the feet out of because his massive stompers wouldn't fit in them). We had a half dozen failed attempts before I got this picture:

Which I thought was amusing enough to make my wallpaper.

And here are the videos.

It took two baths to clean them up afterwards (and I had them strip naked outside, too). The first bath only managed to wash off all the sticking mud, but then the water was dark brown so I had to drain and start over. I think they still ended up with a fine sheen of mud covering their bodies and in their hair, but there you go, just half-assedly done.