What Parents of Girls Probably Miss Out On

Having one child of each gender, I am in an excellent position to, time and again, enumerate the differences between the attitudes, personalities, and actions of boys and girls. That isn't to suggest that my word is law, of course. Different children will act and develop differently. There are simply too many variables to take into account, and any or all of them might or might not affect how a child grows up.

For instance, being a stay-at-home DAD, as opposed to a stay-at-home MOM, my just being here all the time might lean our kids in one direction or another in terms of gender identification and gender roles. But even beyond that, my own personality might play a role in how both Gabe and Norah view the masculine and feminine. I am decidedly NOT an alpha male. I am a subtly manipulative, passive-aggressive beta male. Also, I am very sensitive (not in the "in touch with my feminine/inner child" sense but in the "I will cry like a girl if you poke, pinch, or prod me--ESPECIALLY if you prod me" sense). Will this decrease Gabe's chance of developing into an alpha male himself, or will it simply illustrate to his way of thinking that their are alternatives in life?

Libby, on the other hand, is an obvious alpha female (with mildly crazy tendencies--but I suppose that is to be expected from an alpha female). She is the breadwinner and, ultimately--though it pains me to admit--she wears the pants in our family. But, then, she convinced me to wear a dress in our wedding, so this lower-half-clothing generalization based on our family roles doesn't surprise me one bit. Does this mean that Norah will grow up to be an alpha female or will she take her cues from me and grow up as . . . well, whatever I am.

Only time will tell, I suppose, and they are both too young to even have a clear picture of which direction they are heading. Norah, after all, is only now STARTING to show some signs of her own personality. And, while Gabe shows definite signs of leaning towards alpha male predilections, many of his personality traits might also be attributed to him simply being three years old and full of energy.

But, again, as I've pointed out before, our kids definitely show some gender preferences that are "typical" or "expected" for their respective genders. They both gravitate to the typical toys--Gabe has his things that "go" and Norah loves her baby dolls. They are developing physically and cognitively just as one would expect--Gabe developed gross motor skills at an advanced rate and Norah has displayed fine motor control skills that Gabe is only just now addressing, especially where coloring and drawing are concerned.

So, because our kids, no matter how they perceive their parents' roles in the world, are STILL showing typical patterns of boy/girl development, I think it is pretty safe to say that parents of girls will likely miss out on some of the crazy stuff that boys do--and by "miss out," I obviously don't mean to suggest that they are actually MISSING OUT on anything, they simply will not see the same things that parents of boys do.

For instance, without any apparent influence from me or the television (because I keep a pretty close eye on what the kids watch, and Gabe hasn't figured out how to work the remote control yet), Gabe has figured out how to make laser gun noises, line up and "fight" with army men, and create imaginative situations in which a man is eaten by a dinosaur. The last one came complete with his own oddly humorous sound effects. And that was exactly what he was doing this morning. When I got the camera out--as is usually the case--he stopped what he was doing and I had to prompt him to do it again, so his storytelling lost some of its original zeal. But I think you should still get the point.