Over the course of the last week, Button has taken her dislike for sleeping at night to a whole new level. Every day this past week, she's shifted, ever so slightly, into a schedule that keeps her asleep almost the entire day--from 6:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m.--and keeps her up from 6:00 p.m. until around 4:00 a.m. (where she'll start to doze, but not really sleep until about 6:00). This, of course, is a completely unreasonable and unworkable schedule. Well, unless Libby quits her job and we start keeping Gabe up until about 3:00 a.m. That's not too likely to happen, though.
So, this morning, we decided that we MUST keep her awake for most of the days through the rest of this week and try to force her schedule into something slightly more reasonable (we're willing to compromise--I'm perfectly willing to stay up until, say, midnight, but, for some reason, she has been largely unresponsive to my diplomatic overtures). Talk about an unsavory job.
We allowed her a morning nap, from about 8:00 until 10:00, and another one from about 1:00 until 3:00. Then we've also allowed her to doze for little fifteen to thirty minute bursts whenever she's gotten too cranky. Otherwise, it's been my job to try and keep her at least passingly conscious.
"How do you keep a two month old awake?" you might ask. It's not like they have a broad range of interests that you can present them with as a form of distraction. I can't say, "Hey, if you stay awake for another two hours, I'll loan you the car and you can drive into town to get some hookers and blow." Not that I'd likely suggest that to a child of mine--or anyone, really--in the first place, but it seems like that would be a better than average deterrent to sleep. In fact, there is almost NOTHING that you can do to keep a two month old awake unless she WANTS to be awake.
I've spent the best part of my day gently poking and prodding her, tickling and teasing her, and picking her up and moving her around in just about every awkward position I could get her into without causing either of us harm. And almost none of it works. Physical contact of any sort will result in a slight wiggling, followed by snores. Picking her up and trying to sit her down or stand her up results in her limply tipping in one direction or the other, still sound asleep. Feeding wakes her up just enough for her to drink. However, feeding is the number one way to make a baby fall asleep, so you can guess where feeding inevitably leads.
In short, I've felt like an absolute ass clown all day today because I've been gently, but persistently, tormenting our little baby girl to get her to stay awake. It is entirely possible that it will scar me for life.
Speaking of which, how come everyone always talks about what happens to the CHILDREN to scar them for life? What about us parents who have to do things that leave permanent marks? How about a little sympathy for us?
For almost fifteen minutes before logging on to make this post, I tickled and jostled button to try and get her to wake up. This was the result.
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