Anyway, here's a link to the company's web site. It's an "as seen on TV" product that, I'm guessing, could not pass FDA regulations in the US due to the fact that it is some sort of slimy and unconscionable conjoining of ectoplasm and plastics that is not only unfit for human consumption but for human submersion.
Here's what it does. If added to 40 litres of water (again, a somewhat silly notion when compared to the concept of "bath," which usually contains enough water to at least cover the feet when standing in the tub), this Baff turns the water into slime. It also comes with a "deactivating" powder that is supposed to turn the water back into lightly colored water again (it doesn't, in case anyone was wondering--so who knows what kind of irreparable damage we did to our local water supply by releasing this small hazmat disaster down our bathroom drain. Sorry citizens of Newton! Hope none of you oldies die when you drink this crap!)
After Gabe saw the packages--and Libby foolishly explained what they were and what they did--he badgered us all day every day until we caved in and let him do it. We used more than the 40 litres of water the packaging instructed us to use because, well, where would the fun be in sitting in roughly nine gallons of water in a full sized bath tub? Probably we used about double that amount. And the stuff was still the consistency of watery oatmeal. Or thinnish cottage cheese. Or thin tapioca. It's really rather difficult to pin down. None of those descriptions nail it exactly. It was thick, but there were small bits of, well, a plasticy feeling stuff all through it. It stuck to everything, and the plastic bits had to be flung off like . . . ok. Imagine you blew your nose into your hand (without a kleenex). Now, you have a dripping, not-entirely-slimy-but-not-exactly-consistent glop of snot hanging from the palm of your hand. To get it off without ruining a towel (and without the benefit of running water), your only real option is to fling it towards, hopefully, a neighbor or bothersome animal. That nails the removal and the clinginess aspects of it, but still can't accurately describe the way it felt. Possibly there are no words for it--but I'm going to try anyway.
Carefully strain off all the water from a carton of cottage cheese and set aside. Now, prepare a pot of cream of celery soup--make sure it's just the soup, though, and there aren't any chunks of celery or other vegetables floating around in there. Let the soup cool to roughly room temperature (the slime was warmer, but for the FEEL of it, you couldn't have it warmer than room temperature or it would melt the cottage cheese chunks too much) and add the cottage cheese. Stir around with your hands. That's probably pretty close to what it felt like.
Gabe loved it. He played in the glop for twenty minutes or so. Then we tried the deactivator, which did very little. He needed a VERY thorough shower afterward to clean all the nastiness off him.
Great present Grammie and Grandpa! Thanks!
We got some video of him playing but I probably shouldn't post it on here since it has some little boy wang in it. He moves around so much that it's impossible to only get the non-wang parts of him in a video, I'm afraid. But here are some pictures that document the entire ordeal.
A nice, innocuous bath.
Hey, blogger! Thanks for turning my pictures around for me and continuing to turn them around even when I spin the original! You're great! So, yeah, this is the stuff.
Mixing in the slime. It came with a packet to change it to green, too, which we did later, but that's not really worth mentioning.
Gabe enjoying his "baff." It took some doing getting it out of his hair. And here's why.
Yeah. That's what it looked like. Try getting that out of hair. Or off anything. I can't imagine why this stuff isn't licensed to sell in the US.
Want some more for summer?
ReplyDeleteWe saved the other package to use in the swimming pool, figuring at least then we could just hose him off. So, I think we're good, thanks!
ReplyDelete