Things That Are Not Food

In light of yesterday's post, I've decided to touch on another subject that might prove enlightening to anyone pondering whether or not to have kids (of, if you have kids, what you might expect from yours if he/she turns out to be a little on the, er, inquisitive side like Gabe--or, if you don't have kids and won't have kids, you can at least laugh at mine).

Since he could pick things up, Gabe's been one of those kids that learns by taste. One of the reasons he has such a binky reliance now can surely be traced back to the fact that, in order to keep him from putting other things in his mouth, we shoved a binky in there. I'm not exaggerating here. He put EVERYTHING in his mouth, whether it fit or not. Why he did this is a mystery to me. He wasn't much of a self feeder early on, so it wasn't like he was searching out new and interesting foods that he could feed himself. He just likes to taste things. And that urge continues still to this day.

Here is a helpful list of things to keep away from a child who likes to put things in his/her mouth:

Everything That You'd Expect to Keep Out of a Young Child's Mouth: This includes the standard list of things, most of which were covered yesterday in the Not Toys post (because part of his "playing" has always included at least one covert taste of it first). Anything small, anything electronic, paper, crayons and markers, toys, you name it. If you don't want it covered in kid slime, keep it away from them.

Unguents, Unctions, Salves, and Balms: This one caught us by surprise primarily because the stuff has to taste terrible. But, believe it or not, one of Gabe's favorite things to do after bath time is eat his lotion (we slather him every time because he has terribly dry skin). We'll squirt a little bit onto his hands and encourage him to apply it to his face, but he always pokes his tongue out to taste it first. Then he'll spread it on his face tentatively--so as not to use it all up--and then taste it some more. He's done this consistently for months now. He's also tested pretty much everything else non-toxic that comes in tube or jar form including his Baby Rub (see the video of him in the bathroom, he tasted it at least once during that ordeal), all of his soaps (as we wash his face he'll often lick around his lips to try and taste the stuff while we wash), and so forth.

Bubbles: One of his favorite things to eat is bubbles. If we run him a bubble bath, he'll scoop them up and put them straight into his mouth. In a way I guess I understand this. They DO look kind of tasty and inviting. If I didn't know they were disgusting, I might be tempted to eat them, too. And, I suppose I only KNOW they are disgusting because I tried to eat them as well at some point in my life. The difference is, I stopped. Gabe shows no sign of that so far.

Furniture: Yep. He's tasted pretty much all of our furniture at one point or another. Not so much anymore, but he sure did early on. He was a couch chewer.

Dirt, Leaves, Sticks, Bugs, Anything Naturey: This, again, was something he mostly did early on. I have, however, seen him taste a rock in the last few months, though (a piece of smooth quartz which, admittedly, had some pretty strata and looks a little bit like it should taste good). Numerous times early on, however, he ended up with a mouthful of dirt of sand because he picked up a handful of the stuff from our driveway and put it straight into his mouth. I can think of at least three times, so it's not a lesson that stuck easily.

The Inside of the Sink: This is the reason for my post today. For some reason this morning, as Libby was getting ready for work--when Gabe traditionally goes in for his "make over," which includes him brushing his teeth then an application of whatever makeup Libby feels is expendable--he started reaching into the bottom of the sink, scraping his hand along it, then putting it in his mouth to taste it. Now, our sink is clean (Libby just soaked it in vinegar on Sunday), but it's still pretty disgusting.

Of course, I got video of it to share. I wish I had some others to show as well. I even thought about lying him on the floor and applying some lotion this morning in the hopes of getting a video of that, but figured that might be crossing the line from observer to enabler, so I didn't. Anyway, here's the video from this morning.