Siblings

Over the years, I've addressed the great sibling debate many times--sometimes on here and sometimes in my own head. The debate basically boils down to whether or it's worth it to have more than one child (of course, ignoring the debate of whether or not it's worth it to have kids at all). People come down all over the place on this debate. People who only have one child, of course, believe that they know what's what. People who have two kids think they have all the answers. People who have more than two children are clinically insane and should not be listened to under any circumstances.

The fundamental argument, distilled to its essence, is whether or not having two kids is: 1) more work for the parent, and 2) better for the child--and whether or not one or the other of these elements is more important to consider (for instance, "if it's best for the child, then it doesn't matter if it's more work for the parent" or vice versa).

After a little over three years of experience, I'm still not sure where I fall on the subject. I've been weighing pros and cons the entire time, and I still don't know which side has the tip of the scale.

But I do have more insight to share.

It is not less work. Not at all. Now, there MIGHT be less time that I have to spend actually, physically entertaining both or each of them as I might have to with only one kid in the house. They do kind of keep each other occupied. Kind of. If one or the other of them is hungry for someone to bother, then they have an immediate outlet. However, whatever time or energy I might save on entertaining them is more than expended in the time and energy I have to use breaking up whatever brawl their playing together inevitably breaks down into. 

. . . .

And this is where Blogger decided I was finished with this post.

And who knows what my train of thought was at the time.

So let's just move on as it relates to school developments.

Based on our first week of half days, I am going to go out on a limb and say that it's MUCH easier just having one kid in the house. Norah has been a dream in the mornings while Gabe is at school. Admittedly, I think she's pretty bored most of the time. Up til now she's been relying pretty heavily on Gabe to provide her with ideas for things to do. With him in the house, she will go off on her own and play, but as soon as she looks up and sees that Gabe is doing something mildly interesting, she picks up and tries to take over whatever he is trying to do. Sounds nice, right? Kids providing ideas for each other to do. In reality, it almost exclusively ends in whining and fighting and tattling and mutual irritation by all parties concerned. Because Norah is never satisfied with playing BY Gabe, or playing WITH Gabe, she is only interested in doing exactly what Gabe was doing, in the spot where Gabe was doing it, with the things that Gabe was doing it with. 

With Gabe out of the house, Norah has been a sweetie. We spend our mornings playing with Squinkies and dressing Polly Pockets and watching pre-K shows instead of Gabe's "boy shows." I'm not saying it is the "best" option for her, but it has certainly been a "nicer" option for me (and I think her since she isn't getting into trouble for pestering Gabe all the time). She, like me, tends towards inertness when outside forces aren't pushing her in one direction or the other. Meaning, there's a pretty good chance that she'd just lie on the floor or in the rocking chair watching TV or whatever without someone convincing her that there are better options available. Which, up to this point, Gabe has been doing for her with his pretty much constant activity.

So, there's the rub. In the end, I think it is better for kids to have siblings for various reasons. It gets them used to dealing with other people and exposes them to social aspects they don't get to experience when they are the only kid in the house. They get to experience someone else's ideas. Plus, presumably, they will have each other to fall back on throughout their lives and suchlike.

But don't let anyone tell you that it's going to make YOUR life easier. Because there seems to be little proof that anything of the sort is the truth.